I’m so happy when I don’t eat all day, and suddenly whant to binge, but I’m not hungry… And I eat a lot, than regret and purge.. So dissapointed in myself.. :(((((
I can’t “just eat” once I start eating, I can’t stop. don’t you get it?
Sick of eating. Sick of not eating. Sick of not sleeping. Sick of being tired. Sick of my body. Sick of my face. Sick of my mind. Sick of my family. Sick of being lazy. Sick of being fat. Sick of being uncomfortable with who and what I am. Sick of never accomplishing anything I try for. Sick of the misunderstandings. Sick of the lies. Sick of being helpless. Sick of being dependent. Sick of me.
I look at her and then look at myself. She is so thin and pretty and tidy, and I am fat, gross, and a pig. I cannot help thinking I am weak for having this body compared to her who is strong.